Being in my 20s

feeling purple…

Turning 18 was fun… Turning 19 was great… Turning 20 was the scariest thing ever for me…

Well, of course it didn’t help that my friends were ahead of me with age and they normally share experiences with me, as my ‘predecessors’ … Most experiences will differ by 2 years or so but the things they said were almost as if I didn’t spend most of my days with them, Just so different!

I was more afraid because I am a planner, an anxious planner. And trust me it’s like the 20s don’t give a …/.. about any plans you put for yourself. A few are lucky to be living out their plans but in my opinion about 80% of people in their 20’s are just winging it, going with chance, with the wind, the flow, allowing God’s plan, letting the universe decide for them, following instinct, believing, and my favourite cliche quote “seeing what happens”; whatever phrase you choose *shrugs*

Twenties are a mystery and it is full of pressure. Oh it really is, everyone expects to find themselves there. When I turned 20, my friend told me that “If the foundation is messed up, the house will be out of shape and it definitely will not last longer“. OMG!! That statement carried a lot of pun thus making it heavy and if you think about it, covers all the things you are told you are suppose to do or have when you are in your twenties, before you grow old.

Gosh, I didn’t know where to start! so I would always browse the internet to try and figure it all out, I’m sure we all did or still do because; Man! it is a subtle bloodbath in that 20’s pot. Case in point, see below the number of advises you find in the net, so those who are still confused and 19 thread carefully.

The standard Pressure List!!!

Finish school

Build your career

Investing for your future

Get a stable relationship/get married

First car

Kids

The Pressure List!!!

Those are some of the expectations of 20’s and Thank God for the “In your lane” movement because it is hard. However, no matter how much we preach “In your lane, in your pace”, the anxiety does kick in from time to time. I know this because like I said I am Planner and twenties don’t give a flying fish about your plans in all its mysteries.

Like me, we all worry about a million thing during our 20’s.

The questions that come to me the most are:

1. What do I want?
2. What did I want to do with my life?
3. Am I fulfilling my purpose in life?
4. Where do I see my self 10 years?
5. Am I ready for the next 10 years?
6. Where do I fit in?

This is the anxiety planning I was talking about and so far it makes me scared even more. I also see this anxiety in my predecessors; my friends, my cousins and acquaintances. You may empower yourself and say “I am just winging it, I’ll see what happens” and I am not discouraging anyone here but honey, the pressure will always be there.

The problem is not us, it is the system that was created by someone somewhere, it is marginalized in such a way that forces us not feel great about ourselves, for that short while.

The chapter 20 is daunting and I am constantly wondering how to get by.

Haha I really do not have any profound “feel good” ending, just sharing my experiences of being in my 20’s… what could yours be? Let’s vent… *Smile*

Venting sessions… Now every Friday.